I know we are very prone to constantly scrutinize ourselves for “bad” or “negative” traits in our behavior, we were heavily conditioned to do that. But, I want to bring it outside of the spiritual arena for a moment and just normalize our need for controlling things and situations.
At a very physiological level, these mechanisms ensured our safe keeping and survival, and that is NOT negative at all. We are naturally “wired” to function this way. If we lacked the ability to control or bring balance to chaotic situations we would not have survived this long.
Now granted, our nervous system has kind of gone into excessive hyper overdrive mode, because this world is NOT a “safe” place. This is a completely NORMAL response, humanly speaking. So give yourself a little grace here.
With the gift of awakened awareness tho, we can look at this from a higher perspective and try and find ways of creating that personal “inner” SAFE space (through meditating, or just doing something with your hands that is fun) in order to bring down the hyper vigilance of the nervous system over time.
This will increase the ability to “control” our responses in a more balanced way. You see, we will always be “controlling” something, but it will now be more inward focused, rather than trying to control external situations. It is not possible to completely shut off a normal bodily function of the nervous system, and we are not meant to do that. β€