And who on earth is this me?
I am a divine Soul who chose to incarnate as a human being on earth back in 1968 to German parents who would raise me in the Roman Catholic tradition of religion. Unbeknownst to me (because we forget everything we agreed to as a Soul on the other side) Christianity, Jesus and the Bible would become a huge part of my life for half a century, until... the awakening to my unconscious Soul would commence in the year 2015.
I do not remember most of my childhood years in any detail; it is said that this often is the case when some type of trauma has been experienced early on in life and the mind sequesters these memories away. That which I do remember is that I spent a lot of my life feeling fearful of a lot of things. Most of all, I was afraid of God and Him punishing me with hell when I die.
So as early as I was consciously 'able', I would try to please God and give my life to Jesus to save me from my awful life as a wretched sinner! On September 11, 1984 I received water baptism from a Pastor of a little country church, to finally seal the deal. I was now in good graces with Jesus and God, and life should be going well for me now! At least so I believed.
I became a very devoted Bible reader and study-er for the next 35 years, because I really wanted to please God and ensure my "salvation". Have you read the Bible lately? I mean, do you know what it actually says? It says some horrible things in there that I was completely unaware to for all those years!
Now let me fast forward to summer 2015. After doing many years of church and denomination hopping, trying to find a 'body of Christ' that would be aligned with the New Testament teachings and most of all Jesus, and failing to find that... I found myself in such a desperate state of disillusionment with my Christian faith, that I cried out to God in one last final plea -
"Please God, show me the TRUTH. What it is I need to know. And please, do not let me pass away without knowing my purpose for living, whatever the cost!"
And so like writing a blank check for heaven to cash out, my prayer would soon commence to be answered.
My dear Mom had gotten very sick with cancer all throughout her body, and her wish had been to be cared for by me in our home. We both had high hopes for her physical healing, since mom had received several miracle healings in her life before. And so we spent our days praying and praising God continually!
She was bed-ridden for her last 7 weeks of life, during which I was able to fulfill her wish and at last help transition her out of this life in January of 2016.
I was glad for Mom, for she no longer was in pain and suffering with her body. However, the aftermath left me shattered, as I tried to gather my faculties around what had just happened. We spent weeks in expectant and hopeful prayer, only to be disappointed. It devastated my hope and trust in Jesus.
At the time, I didn't think of the prayer I had voiced just 6 months prior, and certainly would not have expected THIS to be the long awaited answer... turns out, it was! And here is where the proverbial snowball of my Christian Deconstruction journey commenced a slow roll towards the edge of the hill...
Three years later, in November of 2019, my Deconstruction and Awakening really took on speed... rocket speed to be precise, with the meeting of my Twin Flame! And as they say, the rest is history! If you are eager to find out what happened next, you may follow my deconstruction journey on my Youtube channel.
Empathetic Listening Sessions with Rene
Need someone safe and empathetic to talk to?
I offer 30 Minute Sessions of Empathetic Listening and/or Intuitive Guidance via Phone or Zoom, on donation basis and completely confidential!
Scan the QR code to book your session now.
- Safe & Judgment Free
- Empathetic & Intuitive
- Religious Trauma Processing
- Completely Confidential
